Friday, January 04, 2008

Fine Lines

Where is the line between dedication and obsession? It may be a fine one, but it's so very easy to trip over.

Four years ago my sister and I gave our folks a puppy for Christmas. They love that little dog, and she loves them right back. Her presence forces them to walk at least a little every day, to play with her and be active. But they no longer travel because it makes her nervous, and they refuse to go anywhere she’s not welcome. They stay home a lot now.

Reading is one of the best things a writer can do to improve her craft. But if, like me, she reads when she should be sleeping, reads when she should be writing, damn it, reading is no longer a positive factor.

A loving mother guides her children. But if an adult child is determined to ignore everything a mother tries to impart, trying harder and harder does nothing but break her heart and drive the child further away.

I can’t give up on my son. Will never give up on him. But my being more concerned about him than he is about himself was slowly killing us both. In this new year, I’m determined to get the log out of my own eye before worrying about the splinter is someone else’s. Even his.

5 comments:

kario said...

Those lessons are so hard! Especially the ones that come with love and devotion ensnared in them. I am wishing you luck in your attempts to let go of some of the challenges with your son and hoping that you treat yourself gently. Don't expect perfection, my dear. Remember how much we love you for who you are. That includes the log in your eye...

Amber said...

BOY do I understand this...And I know how hard it is, J. Because after all, you LOVE him, and you show it by doing what you have ALWAYS done...It's hard to step back. But you have to. There just comes a point when you have to, in order to keep your head above water yourself.
My heart and my prayers go out to you.

((you))

:)

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Ditto Kario! This one feels like the final exam. If you can "pass" this test, all other tests will feel like tiny quizzes.

riversgrace said...

Wow, huge. I guess it leaves room for faith and grace to enter. If you truly know that you are not responsible for his pain and his happiness then you can join in relationship with the larger forces in his life.....and yours.

So great, Jerri.

Alijah Fitt said...

I know how hard it is to do cause I had to do it too. Sometimes the best thing to do for those beautiful boys is to give them some space to face their own consequences and choices. They come back, you just keep praying and sending them love. . from a distance.