Occasionally I shed my disguise as a polite mid-western woman and show my true colors. And they are bright colors, girl. Yes they are.
Big gestures. Dramatic ideas. Over the top romance. I'm a sucker for people who take delight in all things, great and small. When I'm around them, I feel free to be my truest self, and she's a wild one, I tell you.
Even people who know me well are sometimes surprised to discover I have a wicked, somewhat raunchy sense of humor. In polite company, I rarely say aloud the awful things I think, but get me around the right (or maybe wrong) people and I turn into a fountain of silliness, each thought more outrageous than the last.
Stepping out of my polite, well-mannered self into the wild woman I am inside feels like taking off a girdle, or to be more au courant, a pair of Spankx. I love to crank up the music and "shimmy like my sister Kate." (Except that my sister's name isn't Kate and she has probably never shimmied in her life. If she knew half the things I've done, she'd disown me.)
Lately I've been longing for the chance to go big with my bad self. It's been far too long since I've done anything that would shock my mom....or my daughter...or myself.
(sigh)
10 comments:
The words to this country western song by Trisha Yearwood spoke to me in the way you indicated when I was going through my divorce but still feeling so responsible for my children, the house, the money.... The words are great but hearing her sing it is even better!
I Wanna Go Too Far
Everything in moderation, that's the way it's always been
Never gettin' out of control - never hanging it out
Always reelin' it in
I saved my money for a rainy day
But now I've had enough of playin' it safe
I wanna go too far, I wanna go too fast
Somebody draw the line so I can blow right past
I wanna spend too much, I wanna stay too late
I'm gonna roar too loud, I'm gonna be that way
I wanna play too hard, I wanna go too far
I'm the one they all depend on
Sensible, predictable, and strong
But every now and then,
I feel like I've played that role too long
I need to rock the boat, I need to speak my mind
Just this once let it all unwind
I wanna go too far, I wanna go too fast
Somebody draw the line so I can blow right past
I wanna spend too much, I wanna stay too late
I'm gonna roar too loud, I'm gonna be that way
I wanna play too hard, I wanna go too far
I've gotta set this spirit free
That's hiding here inside
I feel like a bird in a cage
It's time for me to fly
Yowza! Whatcha got planned, and do you need company?
Oh my god, LOVE this post! You know, my friend, some of us know this about you already....what, you say? It shows?
Whenever you discover the moment, you'll have to capture the whole thing on tape so we can be there, too! Whew hew!
Work it Jerri! Shake that thang.
Yep, keep us updated and take pictures! Or just come to Portland and maybe we can help you in some way. Maybe you had something crazier in mind than a lot of red wine or cocktails, but we could start with that...
Yes, go big, go wild. GO for it!
Ah, we knew it all along. THAT'S the kind of girl you are!
Seriously, having seen lots of Sweet Jerri and heard enough about Wild Jerri to know her well, I say you have nothing to worry about. Let the Wild Thing out to play a little, willya?
Wonderful, wonderful writing, by the way.
Sounds to me like you need another trip to Portland. Let's invite Suzy and Monica and make it a big ol' fun event!
Love.
Come on, shock us all! Why not?
Ditto Kari & Jess. We want to dance with abandon with you. It's this wild bright light of you that I fell in love with a year ago. Sure would like another hit of your incredible energy! Love!
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