They say God looks after fools and little children. I must be both.
See that candle burning brightly on my meditation altar? It was the first thing that greeted me when I walked into the living room this morning. Yep. You read that right. This morning. Worked until 2:00am this morning, last night, whatever. About 10:00 pm I lit a candle and took a break to meditate in the full moonlight. Completely forgot about the candle until I saw it warming the darkness when I opened my bedroom door this morning. YIKES! Am I lucky or what?
Been meaning to show you all the magnetic blackboard my dad and I collaborated on recently. Mom and Dad had an unused side panel for their stove (this stove is surrounded by cabinets so the panels are pointless), and they generously offered it for this project. I painted the panel with blackboard paint and when it was dry, Dad framed it with brick molding. TaDA! The perfect magnetic blackboard for my writing studio.
And this final bit: see that little drawing on the blackboard? The red door with words? Sketched it yesterday and then wrote the last words of that Rumi poem I posted yesterday beside it. Misjudged the folds and tore the paper unevenly. Later realized that my hand had gotten so far ahead of my brain I flubbed the words. And I still stuck it on the bulletin board. Leaving it there will be practice in getting past my perfectionistic paralysis.
And hey—check out my Freudian slip, if you will. "...see who's inside." Damn, don't I wish I could do that!
Finally, YES I did take time yesterday, in the midst of the craziness that way my workday, to make that strange little sketch. And YES I am aware this is the kind of procrastination that keeps me up until 2:00am and puts me into giant black holes come deadline time. Want to make something of it?
I thought not.
8 comments:
Jerri,
You have pretty hand-writing!
rel
Love that you made that blackboard. I changed a light buldb the other day and thought of you - I think that was one of our first correspondences -it was about gathering the courage to change a light bulb...or something like that. Now, we've moved on to finding ourselves. A much more interesting place to be.
love ziji's reference to the lightbulb, i truly do think of it that story everyday. everytime i'm i need to collect myself, my courage.
and,Oh girl, it's so good to hear i'm not the only one who chunks out giant pieces of deadline time with anything i can. i am that.
It's nice to know I'm in such awesome company while procrastinating! I learned long ago never to set deadlines when I am ask to make a quilt for someone because I would never make that deadline. I do anything to not get started for fear of the inperfections that might happen while making the quilt. Of course this gets applied to almost all creative things I do because I can't stand the thought that it might not be perfect.
Please blow out the candle and don't make us all worry.
Love and hugs,
Sheila
Your door matches the sunrise, which means that the drawing of it is a deeply intelligent act, propelled forth by the impassioned psyche. To use Rumi words, that is not even in the same 'field' as procrastination. There, how's that summation!
To hell with perfect!
Good job Jerri!
LOVE that you put something up that wasn't perfect! Progress! Can't wait to see you at the writer's workshop in sweatpants and no make-up. That's the final exam.
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