Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Left Side

I am moving to the other side of my bed.

For sixteen years I've slept on the side of the bed where my former husband slept. At first, it was a symbolic action: his side of the bed held the clock alarm, the lamp, the remote. I took control of the lamp and my life when I moved to that side after he decamped. For many long years now, habit pinned me to the left side of the bed. Only heaven knows why I sleep so close to the edge of a queen-size bed when there's no competition for space.

I rode 30 miles yesterday. And for the first time ever, I rode through the barricades without fear. Two months ago, I hated riding on the shoulder of the highway—those 18 inches of asphalt between the giggle strips and the ditch felt like a long series of barricades. Yesterday, the weeds were so overgrown I had only about a 6-inch clear path, but that was enough.

Something amazing happened this summer: I started to feel my body, learned to judge where I am in space and time. It is a gift to be present, and I'm taking that presence to the opposite side of the bed. Maybe someone will appear to fill the left side.


BONNIE K said...

Congratulations on taking this bold move!

Michelle O'Neil said...

Love that you are claiming your space, but be careful what you wish for.

A Mr. Snores-a-Lot might crawl into your bed.

Ask me how I know.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Ask me how I know, too.

BTW, this goes ITB (I'm too lazy to keep saying it).

Deb Shucka said...

This story just gets better and better. You rule your world.

Amber said...

Good! Move allll over that bed. Hog it up. If he is the right man who comes, he will adjust and give you your space. ;)


luckyzmom said...

Why not stretch out for awhile and sleep in the middle:D

Go Mama said...

I wish you your mate and all, I do, but you have no idea how appealing an empty bed sounds to me right about now! (I can dream.)

Revel in your space. Roll around in it. Fill it up to the brim. Left, right, and center.