Title?

How about I write a book: Tales of a Real Mother: A View from the Not-So-Cheap Seats.

Too on the nose?

My aunt Connie told me "mother" was a bad word when I was 12 or 13. She said if a boy said it, I should slap his face and tell him not to talk like that around a lady. It was a long time before I got the difference between you mother and my mother. Kind of like dam and damn.
(sigh)
Life was so simple then.