Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Such Sweet Sorrow


Katie will go back to Minnesota this afternoon. I started crying last night. Why wait? It only adds pressure later. A certain number of tears must be shed every time we part, and I might as well get on with it.

My eyes feel like they're full of sand this morning and my heart feels hollow, a space where unwary birds bounce off the walls with the same PLONK as when they fly into the sunroom windows. Their beaks twist on impact with the windows, small clicking sounds the only evidence of their contact with the Great Transparency, but they rend holes in the walls of my heart, pecking out a fretwork of love and loss.

As you can hear, I'm in contact with the Great Opaque, fully engaged in the mystery of pushing a rock up a hill with my nose.

This, too, shall pass.

11 comments:

Mystic Wing said...

Chin up, friend of mine. This sadness will pass.

kario said...

Just remember that pushing rocks uphill generally only results in sneezes and starting over...

So glad you and Katie were lucky enough to spend this time together right on the heels of the time you've spent quilting with your own mother. What gifts you bring to each other's lives!

All my wishes for her safe journey away from 'home'.

mamatulip said...

It will pass...but allow those tears to fall, just for a moment, before looking to the future.

grammer said...

I call this anticipatory mourning. It's hard to see a good thing end, isn't it? Every tear an unspoken word of love and gratitude. Good times will come again! xo t

Deb said...

I wonder what the rock is. What the hill is. I hope the tears are cleansing and healing and that light returns soon. Love.

holly said...

I love the relationship you have with Katie. Wow, I hope I can build that with my girls when as they grow...

Stacy said...

I know this "happy dagger", love hurts. I was making such a fuss when my son moved to Boston a few winters back to go to a great school. He was only 16 (in University). He finally said, "do you want me not to go?"-That's the reality checker. We have to be excited for what they are experiencing, no matter how much it hurts. Sorry for your pain, really.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Tears hold the truth. You love her.

Eileen said...

It must be so hard to see her go, but the visit must have been so worth the tears!! Tears=Love.
Sending good thoughts and blessings your way!

Go Mama said...

Yes, heart heavy, feeling sad, separation devastation, tears flowing, you are moved and as Eileen said, tears are love, and in love there is no real separation. You are always in her heart and she in yours, maternally bound.

Blessings and peace to you. Let the tears of loss run into tears of gratitude...to know such precious love.

Kim said...

Like rainfall in the sunshine, like the blessings of having a home to feel homesick for...those sad tears tell a wonderful story. The tears will pass, the love between the two of you is forever.