Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Never Enough Time

Twice since Katie and Craig have been home for Christmas, I have dreamed stopwatches. The other day, huge red digital numbers flashed against a black background, ticking down the seconds. Early this morning, a black second hand clicked off against a white clock face.

The kids are heading back to their home today, back to Minnesota. I've just pulled the last load of their laundry from the dryer, checked the house for stray bits and pieces that haven't made it into their luggage yet. In the still-dark morning, with the Christmas lights glowing, it's strangely peaceful and pleasant.

We had the best time last night, the only evening we've had for just the three of us. We had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. They taught me to play Guitar Hero. We taught Craig to play Yahtzee. The iPod pumped music into the house. I danced around, singing and embarrassing Katie to death. It was all so good.

They'll be up any minute and soon after, they'll pull out the drive and head back to their own lives. I'll cry for a while and then settle into gratitude again. I am truly so grateful for the time we've had, the way we are together.


mamatulip said...

Yahtzee is my favourite board game.


Happy New Year, Jerri. I'm so glad I've "found" you here.

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Happy New Year, Jerri. I have just begun to piece together your story of Katie and N. It really is so touching and heart wrenching. My sister has two adopted adoptions, but currently no interaction with the birth parents...I often wonder what will happen later. Another sister gave up a son at birth to adoption. He has declined to have contact. He is now 40. Very sad for her. I applaud you for the way you are letting things unfold and for sharing the story. You are a very brave woman. Katie is very fortunate!
I feel full of tears for you.
May you find peace at your pond!
We are having a blizzard pretty!

luckyzmom said...

I'm happy for you. I am feeling sad and envious though, because I wish I had been able to have my son and daughter. I'm just a big baby lately.