Sunday, September 21, 2008

Flying My Freak Flag

Getting ready to go to Springfield on Friday, I tied a scarf into my hair. Glanced in the mirror and thought, "Better not wear this around Mom. She'll think I'm being...."

That's where the thought ended. I wasn't sure exactly what Mom would think I was being, but I was quite sure she wouldn't like seeing me wear a scarf in my hair. Too look-at-me ish, guess. I left it off, but thought about the reasons during the 2 1/2 hour drive down there.

On Saturday, I put on a green crinkly shirt and red earrings and tied a red-and-burgandy scarf in my hair. Mom and Nancy (SIL) and I went to a quilt show. Later, when my brother was working on a pretty heavy-duty construction project in his yard, I stepped in to help. So there I was with a silk scarf fluttering around my shoulders as I bounced around dragging dirt and rocks out of a field. Having a total ball.

It crossed my mind to take the scarf out of my hair. Not to set up my Ipod stereo while I worked. Not to sing or dance as I loaded rocks in the back of the golf cart.

But here's the thing: I'm eccentric. I'm too loud and too enthusiastic about strange things. Left to my own devices, I wear clothes no one else in my family would and colorful cowboy boots that make them roll their eyes.

But trying to fit in squashes my spirit. AND it doesn't work. I've got a freak flag. Letting it wave is the only way I can get right with myself and the world.

10 comments:

Nancy said...

"But trying to fit in squashes my spirit. AND it doesn't work."

You are an inspiration to the nonconforming spirits! My daughter is like you and will hopefully make it through childhood without her spirit being squashed. God knows the world keeps trying to stuff her in a box, but she keeps popping back out.

riversgrace said...

The only part of this post that is not totally awesome, is that you didn't include a photo. We need visuals! Nothing about that scene seems out of the ordinary to me -- it does, however, add the element of delight to what could have been an ordinary task.

Glad to hear your beating to your own drum. That's deep.

Love.

Doubting Thomas said...

Let 'er fly, sis. Let 'er fly.

Michelle O'Neil said...

You BETTER wear that freakin scarf. God damn it.

Any time you damn well please.

kario said...

You got it right, girl! These things are what makes you you. And we love you just the way you are.

You rock.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Embrace the inner freak!!!

Deb said...

You are the person I look to for fashion tips! You are the person I admire and want to emulate. It never works to try to be someone else - or even ourselves without the silk scarf. I love you!

holly said...

"Wave that flag, wave it high and wide"

Love the image of you hauling rocks with the scarf blowing in the wind. You rock!

deb said...

I came here from Carrie Wilson Link and loved this post. I think I would qualify as eccentric as well and have tried to squash my spirit for years in an effort to fit in. I'm tired of trying to fit in and I'm not alone apparently. Thank you.

Jess said...

Just move to Portland. Nobody would bat an eye at any of that here.