Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Commando

After I recovered from the divorce, I fell in love. Hard. That courtship and the years that followed remain some of the happiest of my life so far.

My new love and I took a canoe down the St. Croix River on the 4th of July. It was a memorable day, one where our picnic got rained out and I skinnydipped for the first time in my life. When I got back to my car to change out of my swimsuit, I discovered I’d forgotten to bring panties to wear with my dress for the dinner portion of our adventure.

With no other choice available, I went commando--the first time in my entire 40 years on the planet I’d stepped outside my own home without a full complement of underwear. It felt daring and dangerous, another step toward the new woman I was becoming. It became something of a theme: Over the next few years, I “forgot” my panties in a variety of memorable ways. (Once I let a pair sail out of an open convertible speeding through the night down Highway 1 in the Florida Keys. Always wondered who found them.)

And every single time I thought, My mother would absolutely die if she knew I went outside without panties. Die or Kill. Me. Dead.

Last night, Mom and I went over to swim in my sister’s pool. Deb showed up about an hour after she was supposed to meet us, just as we were getting out of the water. We got back in with her for a while, and by the time we left, Mom and I were both pretty well fried.

Changing in the little guest bath, I looked at my pile of clothes, thought, “Who cares,” and slipped into my running pants and a t-shirt sans undies. Just easier. I folded my panties and carefully tucked them into the bundle with my towel and wet swimsuit, thinking, Mom would die, but if I’m careful, she’ll never know the difference.

As we walked to the car, my 75-year-old Mom danced a funny little jig on the driveway. “Whatcha doing, Mom?”

“Well, I thought I lost my panties in Deb’s bedroom. I found ‘em after I got dressed, but I was just too tired to bother. And now…,” she lowered her voice, “I am outside without my panties. It feels kinda good.” She waggled her butt at me and laughed.

Shocked the pants off me. Or…it would have if I’d been wearing any.

13 comments:

流浪汉 瑜伽 Yoga Tramp said...

me car accident, Michael pass away
我车祸, Michael走了

Carrie Wilson Link said...

OMHOG! Thanks for this delightful story!

Deb Shucka said...

I love this for so many reasons! I love you for just as many. You've given me a new metaphor for freedom today. :)

BONNIE K said...

I would die if my mother said that to me...

cheryl said...

This is great.

kario said...

As the mother of a child who has eschewed underwear since she was three, I have considered it myself, but haven't done it yet. I'm pretty sure I couldn't do it with a dress on, though.

You crack me up!

Tzeitel (Stacy) said...

No, no no- this is too damned funny- well done.

Amber said...

LOL! Go wild chicks.

;)

George said...

I think I found those in Florida a couple of years back...did they have little smiley faces on them?

Jerri said...

Those belonged to some other wild chick, George. Mine were racy black lacies.

Nancy said...

Wild things! both of you! I love this story!

luckyzmom said...

So, it turns out to be genetic! Who knew!

Michelle O'Neil said...

I bet your mom has a few other tricks up her sleeve as well!