Saturday, September 23, 2006


Maybe it's the autumnal equinox, maybe it's all the photos I looked through the other day hunting for Halloween costume pictures, maybe its the colors and smells of the farmer's market this morning. Whatever. Today I am thinking about the cycles of life. The stages.

If my life were a movie, it sometimes could be considered a tragedy, sometimes a romantic comedy, sometimes film noir. It would depend on which scenes were playing and what was being portrayed. There have been so many times that could be considered the denouement, so many events over which the music could have swelled and the credits rolled.

As evidenced by my thoughts on Halloween, I prefer the Light over the Dark. Pollyanna had nothing on me, boy. But even I, the eternal optimist, recognize that one only appreciates the Light having known the Dark. Someone—Rilke, I think—said that sadness cuts furrows into us that can later be filled with happiness. Don't know about that, but one of the few things I know for sure is that the darkest times of my life have immediately preceded the happiest, that the things that have hurt me the most have made possible the greatest joys.

As I practice equinimity, I'm getting better about not getting blown off course by my personal dramas, but these are tough lessons to learn. And I seem to need to relearn them again and again.

Honking Vs of geese are landing on the pond right now, their wings reflected in the water's surface until the moment they splash down. The wind through their wings is one of my favorite sounds in the world. Turbulence that serves a purpose. As it all does. As it all does.

More stories soon. Some about The Girl, I think. My darling daughter has been under-represented here, though certainly not in my life. She's an old soul, and the light of my life. I sometimes think The Boy came to be my son because he would need me, and that The Girl came to be my daughter because I would need her.

I try to be mindful that that's an unfair burden to put on a child, but her sweet soul has kept me afloat through many a storm, simply by her existence in the world.

I am such a lucky woman.


Suzy said...

And your children are such lucky children to have you....
Your personal dramas as you call them, are valuable lessons to us all. Thank you for your honesty and your sharing.

Jenny Rough said...

You post makes me think of the psalm, children are a blessing from the Lord. Glad your daughter has kept you afloat through many storms.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Looking forward to more on the Girl.

Mystic Wing said...

One of your very best. Wonderful piece.

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