Tuesday, February 15, 2011
My number one "thing to do before I go" is fall in love again. I've been waiting patiently, but no available man has knocked at my door, offering to join me in that adventure. It was well past time to take action. Sunday afternoon I signed up for on-line dating.
Last night I spoke to an interesting man. So far, I know he's smart and funny and loves his kids.
I also know he's a widower whose wife died about a year ago. She was his high school sweetheart, and they'd been married almost 40 years. He has not yet gone on an actual date with anyone.
Almost every story he told me about his children involved teaching them to be careful with money. He talked a lot about conserving throughout his life so he is absolutely secure for retirement.
I can't hear or see for the alarm bells ringing and the red flags flying in my head.
This man and his wife seem to have had a wonderful relationship. Being the first to date someone after a divorce almost never goes well. Dating after a death is likely to be even more intense. He's not ready -- he hasn't found his balance yet. He's lonely, and that's not good.
His focus on being careful with money may be his way of emphasizing what he considers a good quality. Or he might be a miser.
I am glad I insisted on calling him rather than giving him my number, glad I hid my number when I called. A big part of me has no intention of even responding to the email he sent this morning to tell me how much he enjoyed the conversation.
Isn't this how I've ended up single for 17 years? After a 60 minute conversation, I've written the entire story in my head and titled it Too Much Trouble.
How much of what I'm thinking here is common sense and how much is avoidance? I'd appreciate any thoughts you have.