Yesterday when I wrote about how great it was to go see Slumdog with my family, I told only part of the truth. Another part, equally true, is not so pretty.
As I mentioned, we drove to the theater together. My nephew dropped us off at the door and Mom, Dad, my brother-in-law, sister and I walked in together. Mom and Deb walked to the far corner to wait, as women often do while their men buy the tickets or pay the bill or whatever. I followed Dad and Jim to the ticket line.
In that moment, I felt bereft.
I had money in my pocket for the ticket. I buy my own ticket nearly every time I go to the movie and have for years. But for some reason, it felt horrible. No man to protect me. No man to take care of things. No man to stand in line while I waited with the women.
Dad turned and put his arm around me. "I'll get your ticket, Honey," he said.
Although I appreciated it, somehow, that almost felt worse—like charity for the old maid aunt. For a few minutes, I silently wallowed in sad and bad.
The first few minutes of the movie shook me out of that. Pretty quickly, I was ashamed of myself for being so childish and petty. Perspective is a beautiful thing, even when you find it among images of squalor.
4 comments:
And I feel bad having had no real income of my own for the last 5 years. Having to depend on a man!
: )
You are far from an old maid. You have so much to be proud of. When this next project pays off and you are out into the world a lot, you'll be telling them to take a number!
Love from the green grass,
xo
Old maid, my a**! You are the epitome of a renaissance woman. You can make preserves in the summer, run a business, nurture your children and repair your own toilet, all without blinking an eye. No reason for pity there, my friend! Those men are intimidated by your ability to take care of yourself. When you let a man buy your movie ticket, you're giving him a gift, father or not.
Love you.
I haven't seen it yet, but I was listening to a radio guy talk about how it made him feel, seeing all that REAL poverty... Like the world was too wounded to ever fix. :(
Nothing like the gift of seeing or feeling anothers pain, to help us feel greatful, huh?
...But it is still okay to get a little sad for ourselves sometimes. A little bit. :)
:)
You're just ready to be in a partnership again. And it will happen for you just like this other new adventure is happening.
I sure love that you tell both the light truth and the darker truth. The result is that you glow.
Love to you, dear friend.
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