Sunday, August 27, 2006

Retiring Judge Jerri

Wandering the blogosphere in the last few days has electrified my senses, inspired, energized, and renewed me.

There is so much talent, so much raw beauty in this strange new world. People everywhere are conquering fears, thriving despite enormous odds, reaching out to others in faith and love. They’re also writing vividly, capturing beauty with their cameras or brushes, and creating joyful lives.

To tell you the truth, it depresses the living hell out of me.

I can’t stop negatively comparing my own writing to what I’ve read. Can’t stop contrasting what I’ve done with my own life to what others are doing with theirs.

Can’t stop regretting that I waste so damn much time.

I know, I know. You’re totally right. This kind of self-defeating thinking stinks.

It’s useless and just plain wrong to compare myself to others. Well or poorly, it doesn’t matter. It’s the comparison that’s a mistake, not which side of the seesaw I imagine myself to be riding at any given moment. But some of the writers’ voices are so strong, so well defined that I despair of ever knowing myself that well or ever being that flat-out courageous.

Still, by diving into this new world, I am opening myself to possibilities. Others are showing me ideas beyond my current imaginings. Who’s to say I might not someday do the same for someone else?

All I can do is try. Right now, I’ve got to get out of my head. It’s getting a little crazy in here.

Gonna go make some fabulous coffee (thanks to the Fully Caffeinated One) and bake some of the best muffies in the world.


Suzy said...

Jerri, you are so right. This writing and reading is a double edged sword. I read yours, Jennifer's and Carrie's and I think, why should I bother? They seem to have it all figured out. So much wisdom out there being shared. I can tell you this, YOUR writing does matter. Thank you for your wisdom and thoughts.

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Yea, you're right, give it up. You've only written HOW many books? Be as kind and compassionate with yourself, as you are to others, Jerri. I can't even believe your energy level. You just started a blog and have HOW many postings? You have read Blackbird and Still Waters HOW many times? You think you're a slouch? Not so much!

Mike said...

What the heck Jerri. I can`t write worth a darn but people seem to enjoy reading it. I can`t sing or play guitar worth a darn but my friends keep asking me to sing for them. I think my photography is adequate but people tell me I`m good at it. (By the way thanks.) I admire people who always want to better themselves, but I`ve learned that being better doesn`t always mean being happier.