Thursday, June 05, 2008

Lost and Found


A lighthouse disappeared from Cape Cod in 1925 and reappeared in California in 2008.

I like lighthouses, the windswept places they squat, the forlorn shores they announce, the economy of their scales. I like that the biggest thing the lighthouse keepers kept was faith. That's what all the glass polishing and lamp tending added up to: a two-way kind of faith. Sailors trusted the lighthouse keepers would be there and the keepers trusted that their vigilance mattered.

It's not easy to keep the faith when nothing happens. Nobody washed up on shore today. Break out the champagne!

Probably not.

Last night I dreamed I was pregnant and didn't know, not exactly. My stomach was huge, impossible to miss. I was stunned when the contractions started. Nothing had happened for so long, there had been no movement, that I thought it was over. Then I looked down and saw ripples beneath my skin, evidence that someone was about to be born. Ecstatic. That's the only word.

Maybe that someone was really something.

My book proposal has been out more than an month now. We've had two rejections so far. No word from the other 8 editors who have the proposal. My agent started out so optimistic that I was, too. But nothing has happened for so long that it feels like it never will.

Who knows. Impossible things happen every day. Hell, they just found a lighthouse that had been missing for 82 years.

5 comments:

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Waiting is brutal.

I can see the light from your house, from here.

Go Mama said...

holding faith....

Amber said...

Ofcourse it was a someTHING.
It will happen for you, I know it.

((you))
(for your love). ;)

:)

Michelle O'Neil said...

Oh...it's going to sell. The seed's been planted. Pop the cork in anticipation.

: )

Deb said...

It's just a matter of time - and it won't take 82 years either! Love to you.