Called Katie this afternoon because something reminded me of one of my favorite memories of her childhood. I told the old stories, and she chimed in on the parts she remembered. A 500-mile umbilicus stretched between us, a connection so real I could have stepped into the phone and run down its taut silk and velvet length into her living room, balanced like a tightrope walker.
Over the next hour or so, she called three or four more times. Which onions should she use in her veggie stir fry? Have I seen the new show on TLC? Did she tell me about her quiz today?
I am grateful for every comment on my last post, each reassurance. My pain is nothing more or less than resistance to what is. The fear rises. I keep breathing. Friends support me. The simple truth finds me.
Thank you.
6 comments:
Holding you in my love. I'm here.
You are more than welcome.
xo
You are so loved out here.
With this post and the last...Hmm. I don't know if I believe it is always true that blood is thicker than water. I did feel a DEEP need to conect with my bio-dad, and I tried to here and there. And I got some answers...But, man. I know in my GUT that we are not meant to travel together in this lifetime.
But there are others, who are NOT my blood, whom I KNOW I was meant to be with. My grandpa, my Aunt, even my (deeply annoying) non-bio dad. It is LOVE that id thicker. Love.
Perhaps those brothers didn't have that, like your kids have with you. Perhaps they just were not meant to travel apart. But you and your daughter have such a loving bond...You were MEANT to be together. Period.
Love is thicker.
:)
Love.
Amazing and miraculous (and sometimes frustrating and annoying) that the answers come to us not when we ask the questions but in their own time.
You will continue to get reassurance that you are her mother and she is your daughter. You have earned this.
Love.
"nothing can ever change the fact that I am my children's mother." See I told you so:D NO THING!
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