Mudgy* Morning

Nothing is clear this morning because so much is running through my head. Here's a small sampling.

• ALS is an insidious, frightening disease. Researching it, I am inspired to contribute to the fight somehow.

• The working title of my NaNoWriMo novel is Layers of the Onion, which I've come to call and think of as LOTO. This work I'm doing, this writing I'm contemplating makes me as happy as though I've won the Lotto. Should I be so lucky as to win the publishing lotto (find a publisher for it), a portion of the proceeds will go to ALS research.

• Claiming what I want (a la Mr. Frasier), perhaps I should say WHEN I find a publisher but fear that might fall into the category of hubris. That damn balance thing again. Enough and not too much: Never can figure that out.

• I spent a remarkable afternoon with my mother yesterday. We laid on her bed, almost without talking, listening to the music of her teenage years. It was one of the most peace-full, joy-full experiences of my life, a demonstration of the enormous power of forgiveness.

• When I was a teen-ager, my mom cursed me with the words, "I hope someday you have a daughter, and I hope she's exactly like you."

• I often bless my daughter with the exact same words. Ahhhh, the power of Intention.

• Said good-bye to the annuals on my deck yesterday, before the expected freeze of last night. Here's a photo of the gorgeous mandevilla that has graced me with abudant blossoms and lush foliage all summer long.

• The space you see left of the blossom, the thing that looks like a window? That's a reflection from the pond. Which is a window, in its own way. I've learned so much watching life reflect on my little pond.

More, hopefully clearer, thoughts later. Almost ready to sketch out the fourth character, but haven't quite gotten a handle on her yet.

* Thanks to Joan Didion for this excellent word from her excellent book The Year of Magical Thinking,